I fought through the gooey mess and hunted down the 'Snotters' to kill, stumbling into the end room with the usual sense of ARPG finger fatigue. Then I was slowed down by a ranged snot attack. Then I bump into a series of floor traps: the first set are chomping floor tiles, then there's fire hydrant that actually spits fire. They swarm, they pound, they surround, so I swing my axe all around and watch everyone fall, then set about pummeling them as they get slowly up. I wade in, shoulder-charging a group of prisoners that fill the corridors. There's nothing complicated about the combat: four buffs and a health boost vs waves of foes. An informal scorecard was set at the end of the room. The selection is made from a screen of floating castles, with everything I encounter is drawn from the accounts of the other journalists at the event. I grab the Knight and look for a castle to loot. The skill tree for each attack slot has five levels of power, with each gaining a boost at various stages of character levelling. There are four attack slots plus a health potion buff. I fiddled around with the inventory before I entered another player's palace. You fight through player-created castles while others are trying to ransack your own. I spent an hour with it, and was given access to a pair of leveled characters, the tanky Knight and the rangey Archer, and a castle full of traps. TMQFEL is Ubisoft's first purpose-built foray into free-to-play, from a small team tucked away in a corner of their Montreal studio.
That is to say The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot is a dungeon crawling and a dungeon building game.
But then Epic Loot starts playing Starship's "We Built This City" over the loudspeaker, and the entire game inverts, handing you trowels and hammers. You click, things go boom, and Saliva make a tiny amount of royalty money to buy penny mixtures with. The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot follows mediocre Rock band Saliva's game design document: "Click Click Boom".
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